I chose this picture because I'm always flexing my guns at my male friends. lol I suppose deep down inside I know that "I can do it!" and no male will ever be the cause of my downfall. You can do it too!
There are millions of women walking around who are abused daily. These are women you work with, go to the gym with, work out on the treadmill next to, take the train with and share your work bathroom with. They have no external scars, no black eyes, no arms in a sling and no facial bruises yet they hurt just as much. The women I refer to are emotionally abused women and I know their story all too well.
I grew up watching, observing and listening to the tales of emotionally abused women crying and complaining about their men yet and still they chose to stay for weeks, months and years more. It's not just the women you hold near and dear but also those you'd never suspect that are suffering just the same. I still wonder why as I listen to girlfriends, family members and friends of family recite the days of their lives so vehemently that I often have to ask, "Why do you stay?" When I was a young girl I thought this exact question but never bothered to ask why but now after hearing the same tales of disappointment, hurt, anger and what seems like hopelessness I have to ask them why because if not I feel as though their words have fallen upon deaf ears. To me when someone cries out to you in pain they are seeking an answer even if they are not ready to hear it, let alone heed the advice and act on it.
You may wonder why women stay in such relationships where they are told daily that they are fat, ugly and will never amount to anything. They are continuously cheated on, told no other man will ever want them and that they are not going anywhere in life. Imagine if you were told this day in and day out for the last 30 or so years, even less than that for argument sake, you might just believe it yourself even to the point where you talk yourself out of leaving an otherwise obviously dysfunctional relationship. These same women even see other women in their situation and make remarks such as 'She's better than me for dealing with that type of SOB,' yet she doesn't see that she mirrors that very woman in desperation of a release. Often times these women make it impossible for themselves to leave by burying themselves in debt knowing they will need that money to escape, overeating as a coping mechanism due to stress and in turn making themselves physically unattractive to other men and sometimes ill in health. They will have multiple children with this man and use their kids as an excuse as to why they can not leave the 'structure' of a two parent household. They will tell themselves that they can not afford to leave him because he brings home the lionshare of the income or that he has the only medical insurance policy. This is all done because they have been told for so long that they are 'nothing' that they really believe they need this man to exist.
Well I am here to tell you that YOU ARE SOMETHING. You are a beautiful woman and you deserve better. Remember that little girl inside you that loved to socialize, who loved to travel the world, who loved to fellowship with other women and volunteer in her community, who loved looking great inside and out? She is still with you deep down inside and you have to leave and let go of him in order to reunite with her. Life is too short to live unhappily. Love does not hurt, it heals and I encourage you to take the steps you need to leave and truly live again today.
If you know someone like this I have listed a few organizations below that can be of some assistance in New York and Georgia:
Georgia Assistance Programs
Childcare – Children need a safe, structured place to go while mom works. If you cannot afford to pay for childcare, the Division of Family and Children Services offers subsidized child care assistance (http://www.dfcs.dhr.georgia.gov/). The help is offered to children up to the age of 13 or the age of 18 if they have special needs. Other affordable options include a babysitting co-op or swap with other area mothers or finding daycare in the home of someone you trust.
Healthcare – Medicaid (http://www.dfcs.dhr.georgia.gov/) is Georgia’s primary healthcare assistance program for low income families. However, if you do not qualify for Medicaid and do not have healthcare for your kids, you might be able to get coverage for your uninsured children through the PeachCare program (http://www.peachcare.org/). Coverage is based on income, but the income guidelines are more generous with PeachCare than with Medicaid.
Food and Supplies – Putting food on the table is a constant struggle for single moms, and often they cannot choose the most healthy food options. The state has a few programs to help struggling families get healthy food on the table. The primary program is the Food Stamps program (http://www.dfcs.dhr.georgia.gov/). Families with preschoolers can get supplemental nutrition through Georgia’s WIC program as well (http://health.state.ga.us/programs/wic/).
Transportation – Georgia has several public transportation options that offer an affordable way to get to work. Find out where your local bus station is and what route will best fit your needs at http://www.georgia.gov/00/channel_title/0,2094,4802_5013,00.html.
Rent Assistance – Georgia wants to make sure that all children have a safe, comfortable home to live in. As such, they offer rental assistance and other housing programs through HUD (http://www.dca.state.ga.us/housing/RentalAssistance/index.asp). Programs include the housing voucher program and subsidized apartments.
Educational Grants – Returning to school is easier than ever with online colleges and night classes. You can get help paying the bill as well. Start by filing the FAFSA to apply for federal student aid options. Then, contact the financial aid department of the school you wish to attend to find out about any grants they might know about, specifically those for single moms. Finally, check out the Georgia Student Finance Commission (http://www.gsfc.org/) to learn about local scholarships.
New York Assistance Programs
Housing Assistance- HELP http://www.helpusa.org/
Assistance for Older women looking to Retire
For the older women in this situation, you are never too old to fall in love with yourself again or someone else for that matter ;0) If you are looking to retire below are some of the best cities to move to.
These are just a few of the best retirement towns we consistently see on the lists:
- Asheville, NC - Portland, OR - Paris, TN - San Diego - Denver CO - Boulder CO - Fort Collins CO - Charlotte NC - Austin TX - Athens GA - Holland MI - Seattle WA - Olympia WA - San Luis Obispo CA - New York NY - Tuscon AZ - Charlottesville VA - Hilton Head Island SC
Assisted Living in GA directory
Websites: Here are the main 100 best retirement community lists with links:
- Topretirements 100 Most Popular Retirement Towns (2010)
- Kiplinger's Best Retirement Cities
- Money/CNN Best Places to Retire
- AARP Best Places to Live
- US News Best Places to Retire
- Forbes Best Places to Grow Old
- CBS Market Watch 10 Best Places to Retire
- Wallet Pop - Best Places to Retire -How to Decide
Encouragement from me to you with love
-- Jackie Joyner-Kersee
Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.
-- Liz Smith
Don't wait for something big to occur. Start where you are, with what you have, and that will always lead you into something greater.
-- Mary Manin Morrissey
I'm not happy, I'm cheerful. There's a difference. A happy woman has no cares at all. A cheerful woman has cares but has learned how to deal with them.
-- Beverly Sills
