"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
On Tuesday I purchased the novel Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I had not heard of the book prior to the commercials on the currently featured film but I've been thinking about practicing some type of meditation in my life to purge negative thoughts and renew my spirit. All too often we go through the day and encounter those with fowl moods, attitudes and who are just irritable human beings. You try not to take things personally when you for instance are cut off by a driver in a rush, ignored when greeting a passerby, or simply feeling a bad vibe from someone, perhaps someone you are in relationship with.
This leads me to the quote above from the book. Many times when dating or in a relationship either person can fall in love with the potential of their partner and then become a victim of their own optimism. Sometimes this can lead to the 'victim' becoming bitter and banning themselves from love all together. I recall in my last relationship, of three years, thinking the man was the greatest thing since slice bread in the beginning. Everyone told us we looked like the picture perfect couple, like something out of a magazine. What they didn't know was that we were far from the perfect couple. Often times while riding in the car together each person were on their phones talking or texting someone else. We were a distant couple literally and figuratively as he moved to MIA during our relationship. I held on only because of the potential I believed to be there. After I decided to end it the break up it was hard, as most break ups are but I didn't want to dwell on it. I could have easily been bitter and regretted that I spent the last three years of my life with someone to only have it go down the tubes but I didn't. I bounced back and started the year anew. I joined the LA Fitness gym near me with my co-worker who undoubtedly abandoned our work out regime and left me there solo to scan the sea of gym rats lol This is where I met Jason and as you know we are now set to wed next summer. I'm not going to lie, I could have used some more time to really get over my past relationship but I already did that during the last year of it because I was unhappy and had already mentally checked out. I don't think it is unrealistic to expect the best your partner can give but it is unrealistic to fool yourself into thinking you are happy when really are not.
If you have been searching for love or seeking understanding of unanswered questions in life embrace change and take some time to reflect, you might be surprised what a little time alone with your thoughts will do.
I can't wait to finish this book and hope I gain a deeper understanding through self reflection. Then I will drag Jason to the movies to see yet another chick flick lol Don't you just love Julia Roberts? She is one of my favorite actresses besides Meryl Streep.
