In the spirit of Mother's Day let's talk about family. I know a lot of people that hold the sentiment that 'blood is thicker than water' when it comes to their relatives. People will kill a n*cca over their kin and others who feel the complete opposite way about their family, even hating the one that gave them life. Where does this notion stem from? Is the love and respect given as a birth right due to blood relation or is it earned? Is this something that is instilled in you from the elders of your family or is your notion on family self taught?
I've always heard, you only get one family and should love them no matter what, but often times I feel that some of my girlfriends are closer to me and know me even better than my siblings. Ever since living out of my home state I have developed a family base/sisterhood outside of my own family. To me the term family can far outreach the boundaries of bloodline and is more in relation to how people make you feel, how they treat you and if they are there for you when the chips are down. You are supposed to be able to depend on your family members, to be able to confide in them, to rely on them, and find support in them. There are many of you who have been all these things and more to your kin folk and others who have been the complete opposite. Often times the people that hurt us most are those of close relation, people we've trusted, entertained in our homes and confided in and they in turn use that closeness to ruin relationships and sometimes lives. Those Maury shows of women sleeping with their sisters' husbands are real life stories for some. The movie Precious showcasing the terribly dysfunctional & incestuous relationship between daughter and mother is real life for some. Tyler Perry's heartbreaking story of the abuse endured at the hands of his own father is real life for some. There are mothers who let their children be abused by their boyfriends all because they want to keep that man around. Do these people deserve love and respect after such instances just because they are blood related?
Every family has their issues and secrets of hurt & pain but is blood really thicker than water? Do you believe that you should forgive and forget no matter how heinous the act? My aunt recently shared with me a story of how she encouraged her man to forgive his mother for being quite unfit as a parent while he was growing up. He managed to turn the tables around, forgive his past hurts and actively love his mother despite her not being there for him. His act of forgiveness is quite commendable and I'm sure God is smiling down on him for being such a loving person but what if he never did forgive her? Would he be in the wrong?
I personally have a very hard time forgiving people especially when they pretend that they have done no wrong. I have been on a very long journey of forgiving a family member for a past hurt and I know how hard it is to just let go and let God. I just can't bring myself to pretend like everything is all good when the person doesn't have the decency to apologize. I moreso just forget the event and put it behind me. Out of sight, out of mind is what I always say. When a person at fault fails to apologize for their wrong doings, there is a certain level of respect that is lost in the process. Forgiveness is one of the easiest yet hardest things to do in relationship with people, especially when it comes to family.
What are your thoughts on the subject? Do you love your family members til death do you part? Is blood thicker than water for you or do you have some estranged relationships with your family members?
