One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. A little bantering was all it took to stoke up a rising emotional tension.
Every now and then, no matter how close and intimate a couple is, an argument occasionaly looms to create a tide in the relationship. Although sometimes it shakes a relationship down to its very core, if handled well, it is healthy and
can help create lasting relationships. Here is a list of what couples like you usually argue about and what you should do whenever you are faced with another petty bickering.
1. Jealousy
Jealousy is a natural human emotion. It is not negative in itself. How people react to jealous feelings make it negative. Your jealousy is just a product of your own mental-emotional patterns that only exist in your head. Just because your lover admired something about another person, does not mean that you are loved any less, or that the person is more attractive than you are. Check yourself before you reck yourself!
2. Individual Differences
When you first met, it may be the similarities you found with each other that instantly created the bond and rapport. However, as you knew each other better, it's your differences that potentially fashioned the strength of your relationship. Hence, it is important that you value the differences that make you unique as a couple.
Just because you were raised to do something a certain way or you've been doing xyz this way since you can remember doesn't mean that it is the best way for it to be done. Be open minded of what each other brings to the table, after all that is probably why you were attracted to them in the first place.
3. Unmet Expectations
When a dispute recurs but too many times like a bad case of athlete's foot but you have no clue as to what's really causing the problem, odds are it was because your partner did not meet your expectations or he didn't meet yours. No one knows what's going on inside your head unless you convey it. If you like a certain type of food on your grocery list then let it be known, don't expect that your partner is making mental notes of all your food groups just because this is something you like to do. Speak up, a closed mouth doesn't get fed!
4. You're Wrong I'm Right Attitude
Instincts often tell us not to give up and admit defeat in times of disagreements especially if we are certain that we are right. But come to think of it, does it really matter who's right and who's not? In a relationship, it is never good to assert too much if it means you could hurt your partner. We all have heard no man is perfect and it couldn't be more true. What really is the point of arguing your stance on an issue that won't matter 5 minutes from now anyway? The key to being amiable in a relationship is learning how to compromise.
5. Money Matters
When you're going through the honeymoon phase of your relationship, money may not be much of an issue. Nonetheless, as the relationship progresses, power struggles and control issues around money may just start surfacing. This creates tension that if not resolved, can put a serious damper on the relationship. Where critical differences exist in your financial expectations, try to negotiate. Work out a way of managing your finances that gives you both some control. Try to be as open as you possibly can when it comes to money as most divorces end marriages over money matters. Most people develop their financial habits from observation during their childhood so asking questions about their views on how they handle money is integral and seemingly just as important as observing their spending habits, after all you don't both want to end up in the poor house.
Arguments by nature are difficult and can even be hurtful and frustrating. And yet, they are a normal natural aspect of any relationship. Like the salt to meat dishes, they add flavor to the lives of couples and help build better relationships. On the other hand, if disputes are handled poorly, they can also potentially wreck a strong relationship. So, in order to avoid this, every disagreement should be carefully handled in a way that would boost relationship satisfaction and pave the way for new growth together. Truly, it's fun to fight and make up (and out) after knowing you have worked together through it all if not you might end up sleeping on the couch, alone, don't let that be you.
