When you first started dating boys did you get any advice from your mother, father or guardian about what 'type' of boys to like? Did she/he perhaps steer you in the direction of the intellectuals, best dressed and well behaved boys or were you just left to your own devices when it came to picking and choosing on the playground? Chances are if your guardian did not instruct you on the type of males to like and you did not have a male figure in your life to model that dream mate after you devised your own image of the "Ideal Black Man."
You may have gone through your teens and early twenties dating the thugs and dope boys of your neighborhood because they seemed to display the most bravado, flashy clothes and high priced luxury goods everyone aspires to own. Most likely you would have experienced some type of heart break, cheating, deception and perhaps even some baby momma & daddy drama, if a child was conceived, in that discovery period.
Now you are good and grown and yet you still find yourself wondering 'Why have I not found the one?" Well my theory is because no one ever sat you down and explained firstly how you should carry yourself and in turn how this would attract the ideal mate. Sure your early youth is supposed to be fun and full of wonder, excitement and exploration BUT if we don't know what to do when we settle into your adulthood we just might be out there fishing without knowing how to hook, line and sink em. Right?
This brings me to the picture above of Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa. Now I don't know Amber personally but since her dating life is on public display we will use her for example. It is no secret that she comes from a broken home having been a stripper in Philly at the tender age of 15 years old. After landing the coveted role of Kanye West's muse she became a hot commodity on the red carpet and celebrity front news. According to her she was madly in love, but for whatever reason their affair ended and now she is in the lap of another artist. What's wrong with that? Absolutely nada. Why should she go back to the streets of Philly and date an average joe when she is now used to leer jets and trips to Rome? My concern, well not really a concern but for the purpose of this article let's just say, if she is jumping from pole to pole lol hoping to find love without first putting a value on herself as woman, then she will never find it. Having already been deemed a jump off in the industry what is the likelihood of a man putting a ring on it? I'm sure some man would wife her but would she merely be a trophy as opposed to a coveted treasure?
Now let's play devil's advocate here. What if she is dating strictly celebs because of status and not their own merit. Do you find anything wrong with that? What if she doesn't want to 'settle' for an average joe now that she's had a taste of the Good Life? Sometimes I feel like black women use the word ‘settle’ to describe a level of occupation. No one in their right mind would tell anyone to settle for a guy who has no ambition, who has no plans in life and is always complaining about his job, but not doing anything to land something better. But what’s so bad about dating a man who works as an MTA train conductor, makes 50-70k a year and treats you well?
All I will say is keep your standards (for the most part), but don’t let a good man pass you by if he has a good attitude, ambition, but may not fit your overall criteria.
In the end, it’s really all about finding someone you love, and money/title has never been at the top of the list for love unless you’re a basketball wife, celebrity jump off or a contestant on Ray J or Ochocinco’s show…
Question is there really a difference between how females are bred and molded for marriage in various cultures i.e. black, white, asian, indian, latin american
