I watched the below trailer, Easy, a 2003 film about a quirky, young and attractive girl who was destructively engaging in casual sex with men hoping to keep one around. Most of the time we tend to think of the 'easy chick' as the one who has careless sex with lots of men for affection and love but did you know that you can be the 'easy' chick with just one man?
I came to thinking about this a few nights ago after mulling over my vlog entitled "To Ask or not to Ask, that is the Question" The premise behind this vlog was merely asking people if they believe one should tell their potential mate what their future aspirations are in terms of relationships in the very beginning. I've read countless times from magazine advice columns that women shouldn't scare the man off with stories of the white picket fence, 2.5 children and living happily ever after in marriage. I couldn't disagree more. Now while this may not be first date worthy conversation I don't think you should sweep it under the rug hoping one day he will so happen to mention he wants this exact thing you've been keeping locked away in secret. It's just silly to me to hide your most cherished desires which so happen to possibly involve the person you are with.
I for one was the 'easy chick' in a past relationship. I was always accessible, available, pliable and willing. Now while this notion is not bad in its entirety it can be when doing so for a person that does not see you as 'the one.' I thought in order to keep a man interested I needed to morph into the person he desired. If I was slim and he preferred 'thicker' girls I thought I should gain weight. If I wore makeup and he preferred a plain Jane I thought I should trash the makeup bag. If I didn't like exercising and he was a gym rat I thought I should lose a couple lbs and get my butt in shape. Now that I am older and wiser it is more important for me to be myself and compromise as opposed to completely change within the confines of a true commitment, meaning engagement and marriage, for a man that has promised to be there forever.
Change is the only constant in life. The woman you are at I Do, won't be the woman you evolve into 5 10 15 years from now. I think this is important for both parties to consider and realize. I don't advocate striving to be what 'most' men want. Strive to be what YOU want and a man who likes you for you will Love it! It will only be painful to put on a mask and persona of someone you're not and then try to convert into your real self later on down the line once you've got him interested. Believe me, been there done that, ain't doing it again ;0)
Check out the trailer, its a great film!
