When it comes to relationship and marriage one tends to think of the word soul mate. The picture above of Kimora and her new hubby Dijimon embodies my ideal of a working unit where both people are supportive to the other's interests. Your 'soul mate' is the person that God has deemed as 'the one' for you. You adore them with every morsel of your being and can't fathom living life without them. This person has a front row seat in your life, they live with you, breathe your air, share your meals, split your bills, hold your hands and rub your back. They are your biggest fan and support your hopes, dreams and future endeavors BUT what if you have an unsupportive spouse? The needs of a man and woman are quite different and your mate may not know that he is being unsupportive. While men generally feel like they’re being supportive, it’s the kind of support that they offer that might be falling short for some women.
If you are in a relationship and you feel as though you have an unsupportive spouse perhaps you need to have a discussion as men can not read your mind. Men for the most part want to support their wives or girlfriends, it is in their DNA. Men need specific directions on how to please and support your needs. Perhaps they need a Lipstick Manual ;0) Men are great at solving your problems and in fact when you're speaking with them they are listening to your thoughts seeking a solution to your problem.
I personally know the difference between a supportive and unsupportive mate and for sure don't want the latter. Sometimes people can become in competition with one another within their own households and start to resent the other's success. Often times one party will either consciously or unknowingly so nit pick and degrade their partners aspirations and dreams in an effort to make themselves feel better. If a person is unhappy with themselves and confused about where they are going in life, they can not possibly find it within their beings to be happy for you.
Listen to Kimora express her love for her husband Dijimon ;0)
Here are some questions to ask yourself to evaluate the level of support in your relationship and determine if you need or want more:
Does he or she validate me enough?
Do I often feel uplifted and encouraged by my mate?
When you are validated be sure to thank them in appreciation for their kind remarks or pat on the back, this is called positive reinforcement.
Make a list of things you would like to be supported in and explain their importance to your spouse.
If there is a problem with support, admit that this issue exists and make some time to discuss it amiably.
In a time when you are seeking support and not receiving it ask yourself "What am I needing in this moment?" and express this to your mate.
Hopefully you can implement some of these tactics to get the support you deserve and need in your relationship.
